What works when it comes to shaping children’s behaviour
I was recently having a chat with a parent who asked what she should do when her child engages in non-preferred behaviours. I was reminded of my early days at university learning about the four different types of reinforcement. At the time if felt like just another piece of information I had to learn to pass the university course but now, having worked with children and families for many years, it is a concept that underpins much of my work. While there are many ways to shape children’s behaviour, it is useful to understand a little more about what reinforces behaviour.
The four types of reinforcement are:
Positive reinforcement: This occurs when a behavior is followed by the addition of a positive stimulus, such as praise or a reward, which increases the likelihood of the behavior being repeated in the future.
Negative reinforcement: This occurs when a behavior is followed by the removal or avoidance of an unpleasant stimulus, such as taking away a chore or ending an unpleasant task, which also increases the likelihood of the behavior being repeated in the future.
Positive punishment: This occurs when a behavior is followed by the addition of an unpleasant stimulus, such as scolding or giving a time-out, which decreases the likelihood of the behavior being repeated in the future.
Negative punishment: This occurs when a behavior is followed by the removal of a positive stimulus, such as taking away a toy or a privilege, which also decreases the likelihood of the behavior being repeated in the future.
It's important to note that the effectiveness of each type of reinforcement or punishment varies greatly, and that positive reinforcement is generally considered the most effective method for shaping behavior in a positive way. Here are some reasons why positive reinforcement is often preferred:
It encourages desirable behaviour - positive reinforcement involves rewarding a child for displaying a desired behaviour. This encourages the child to repeat the behaviour in the future.
It promotes self-esteem - when a child is praised and rewarded for good behaviour, it can boost their self-esteem and sense of self-worth.
It fosters a positive relationship - when positive reinforcement is used, the child is more likely to view the parent or caregiver as a source of support and encouragement, rather than fear or avoidance.
It is less likely to cause anxiety and stress - negative reinforcement or positive punishment can be stressful and anxiety-inducing for children, which can actually interfere with learning and the development of positive behaviours.
As a parent it is so easy to get caught in the negativity space, correcting behaviour and imposing punishments for non-preferred behaviours. In fact, our brains are wired to zone in on the potential danger or threat of a situation, such as our child standing on a chair when they should be sitting as they might fall. Rather than tell a child “no” or “if you don’t sit down now then you won’t get ice cream”, I talk to parents about ‘catching kids doing the right thing’. What I mean by this is, going against biological instinct to focus on the negative and instead actively focus on the preferred behaviours, such as “thank you for sitting on your chair'“. Over time, we are likely to see more and more of the preferred behaviour.