Supporting Your Child Through School Exams: A Guide for Parents
We are at that time of year again when many children and adolescents will be completing exams at school. School exams, while important, can trigger a range of emotions in children—from excitement and motivation to anxiety and stress. It’s natural for children to feel some pressure, but the way parents respond can significantly influence how they handle these challenges.
In this post, I’ll share practical tips and strategies to help you support your child through exam season in a way that fosters both academic success and emotional well-being.
1. Recognize and Normalize Stress
First, it’s important to acknowledge that feeling some stress before exams is normal. Exams can bring up a mix of emotions, and these feelings are often a sign that your child cares about their performance. Instead of minimizing their concerns ("It's just an exam! Don’t worry about it!"), validate their feelings by saying something like, “I can see that you're feeling stressed. It’s okay to feel this way before an exam. Everyone experiences it, even adults.”
By normalizing their stress, you show empathy, making it easier for your child to talk about their worries with you. This builds trust and helps reduce any feelings of isolation or shame around their emotions.
2. Create a Positive, Calm Environment
The environment in which your child studies can have a big impact on their ability to focus and manage stress. Make sure that their study space is quiet, organized, and free from distractions like smartphones or television. However, this doesn’t mean you need to create a sterile study zone. A comfortable chair, good lighting, and a few personal items like a favorite plant or a motivational poster can create a space that feels inviting.
Encourage breaks and relaxation during study sessions. Help your child set a study schedule that includes short breaks for exercise, stretching, or even a quick walk outside. A little fresh air can do wonders for relieving anxiety and improving concentration.
3. Help with Time Management
Time management is one of the most common challenges children face during exam preparation. Many students struggle with procrastination or feel overwhelmed by the amount of material they need to cover. As a parent, you can help by guiding them in creating a study plan.
Sit down with your child and break down their revision into manageable chunks. Set realistic goals for each study session (e.g., "Let’s aim to finish studying math for the next hour, then take a break"). You can also help them prioritize subjects that they find more challenging or need extra time to work on. Make sure the plan includes time for rest, sleep, and even some fun activities to unwind.
4. Encourage Healthy Habits
Mental clarity and emotional resilience are closely tied to physical health. Ensure your child is getting enough sleep, eating balanced meals, and staying physically active. Lack of sleep can impair memory and concentration, while poor nutrition can affect mood and energy levels.
Encourage your child to get at least 8 hours of sleep, especially in the days leading up to exams. Nutrient-rich meals, like those with omega-3s (found in fish, nuts, and seeds), and regular exercise, such as a short walk or stretching, can help with focus and relaxation.
Don’t forget the importance of downtime! A well-rested, well-nourished child is far more likely to retain information and stay calm during exams.
5. Model Calmness and Stay Positive
Children often take emotional cues from their parents. If you’re visibly stressed or anxious, your child may pick up on that and feel even more overwhelmed. Try to model calmness and positive thinking during this time. Instead of saying, “I hope you pass this exam,” try something like, “I know you’re working hard, and no matter the outcome, I’m proud of you.”
Use positive language and highlight their effort rather than just the end result. Emphasize the importance of doing their best, rather than aiming for perfection. This reduces pressure and helps them focus on the process, not just the outcome.
6. Be Available for Emotional Support
Exams can sometimes stir up feelings of self-doubt, fear of failure, or worries about letting down parents or teachers. Be there to listen to these concerns without judgment. If your child expresses anxiety, offer reassurance, but also acknowledge the difficulty they may be experiencing. Saying something like, "I can see this feels really overwhelming, but I know you’re doing your best," can help them feel heard and understood.
If you notice your child showing signs of severe anxiety—such as frequent headaches, stomach aches, trouble sleeping, or withdrawing from family activities—it might be a sign that they need additional support. In these cases, consulting a psychologist or counselor can help your child build coping strategies for managing exam stress.
7. Celebrate Effort, Not Just Results
After exams, take time to acknowledge the hard work your child has put in, regardless of the outcome. Avoid focusing solely on grades or scores, as this can inadvertently send the message that their worth is tied to their academic performance.
Celebrate small victories: completing a challenging revision session, staying calm during the exam, or even simply giving their best effort. This reinforces the idea that effort and perseverance are just as important as the result. Positive reinforcement will encourage them to keep going and develop a growth mindset for the future.
8. Prepare for the Aftermath
Once exams are over, be mindful of how your child may feel. Some children feel relief, while others may experience a sense of emptiness or anxiety about waiting for results. It’s important to give them space to relax and unwind before moving on to the next thing. Plan some fun activities or downtime to help them de-stress.
Additionally, discuss the idea that exams are just one part of a larger picture of learning and growing. Regardless of how they did, remind them that there are always opportunities to learn from mistakes, try again, and continue developing as a person.
Final Thoughts
Exams are a stressful time for many students, but they don’t have to be overwhelming. By offering emotional support, promoting healthy habits, and guiding your child with practical study strategies, you can help them navigate this period with confidence and resilience.
Most importantly, let your child know that no matter the outcome of their exams, you are proud of their effort and growth. Your support and encouragement will not only help them perform better academically, but will also foster a sense of self-worth and well-being that extends beyond the exam hall.
Good luck to your child—and to you, as you navigate this journey together!
If you're concerned about your child's emotional well-being during exams, don’t hesitate to reach out to a school counselor or a mental health professional for additional support.